I'm finding myself at a loss for words...

Matt's mom - Dianne, or Grandma Dianne as she is also affectionately known, unexpectedly passed away yesterday. While we are swimming through our grief and shock, I am also remembering her wonderful sense of humor and her immediate embracing of me into her family. I'm a mess, but she has loved me despite of that. There's not a moment when I don't look around my home and see her touch on our lives, a beginning sewing book that she gave me last Christmas because she remembered when I mentioned that I wanted to learn to sew better, an In Style magazine that came in the mail shortly after we learned of her death yesterday so that as a busy mom i would have a welcome downtime activity, and a little bikini top that she gave Allison for her birthday just a few short months ago because she knew it would rib Matt! All of these things and how much she loved my little girl, she loved being a Grandma to both Allison and my nephew Nicholas. She took great care of Allison, and we will so miss her.

I hear this is the first stage- numb. I keep hearing the song by Mercy Me- "Word of God Speak," in my head because I am truly at a loss for words, and as the song says "the funny thing is that it's okay." Here are the lyrics-

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay